There are many reasons why marriages do not last. Infidelity or cheating on the spouse is the most common ground for separation. Lack of communication, lack of affection and failed expectations can also lead to break ups. However, money arguments is the leading cause of divorce in Malaysia.
Quarrels over money can have a tremendous effect on a relationship which could lead to divorce. But the problem is not over after the separation. The effect could extend to the immediate family members especially the children.
Money Matters Lead to High Divorce Rate
The recent National Registration Department marriage tribunal statistics showed that most divorce cases in Malaysia was due to money problems. Hannah Yeoh, the minister of Deputy Women, Family and Community Development revealed the startling data. Out of the 6,901 divorce cases last year, financial problem was the main cause in 2,971 or 43.05% of the total number of cases. What is alarming is that child abuse cases rose along with it. Minister Yeoh said that financial problems, divorce cases and child abuse are all connected.
As a result of the divorce, a wife and mother would lose a source of income. A sudden financial dislocation will cause tremendous pressure. If a woman cannot cope with the burden, it could possibly lead to child abuse. Couples especially those with kids should know the consequences of a divorce. At the end of the day, children would suffer because their parents fought over money that led to divorce. The tragedy can be avoided if both partners work together and agree on financial matters.
5 Ways to Avoid Money Arguments with Your Spouse
1. Find the Right Timing
There is always a time to discuss money matters with your spouse. If you have an issue to raise such as useless spending or rising credit bills, make sure to find the right moment to discuss with your other half. Start the conversation when things are relaxed. Your spouse will be more receptive when you are expressing genuine concern in a calm manner.
A hostile approach would only put your spouse on the defensive mode. Money issues will not resolved through heated discussions. The important thing is to settle the issue without creating anger and resentment.
2. Be Willing to Compromise
Everyone’s behaviour towards money is different. If you are thrifty, do not expect your partner to be the same. But spouses can always align their individual spending patterns to create a balance.
If you are the breadwinner, you do not have absolute control of household spending. Your spouse is there to correct or limit your spending whenever necessary. Marriage is a two-way street. Partners should be willing to compromise for the good of the relationship.
3. Be Honest
If working couples share the cost in a household, there should be honesty in all financial matters. For example, before getting a personal loan or making an expensive purchase, let your spouse know beforehand.
Any major spending or borrowing should be a collective decision. It is better to discuss first whether the purchase is necessary or if any of the existing loan is a bad debt. When bills pile up, it could lead to a blame game. That could be the start of future arguments over money. Honesty is the best way to preserve a marriage.
4. Joint Control of Spending
Couples can stay happy in a relationship much longer if they are in full control of their spending. That is why setting a mutual goal is important. Both partners should participate to do the financial planning together.
Talk about your finances like income, expenses, mortgage, savings or anything that concerns money. Prepare a budget and resolve your concerns by following the discussed plan. It does not matter if only one spouse is working because couples share the financial burden together.
5. Plan Together for the Future
Finally, couples who want to be together until the sunset years need to look ahead into the future. If partners plan together for retirement, there would be less fighting over money. Both spouses would then be conscious about their spending. They will be focused on saving and investing to secure their financial future.
Generally, arguing over money is natural between married couples. But it should be handled properly. Otherwise, a disagreement could explode into a bigger problem until a partner ends the marriage. Follow the above stated ways to avoid an argument with your spouse on money if you want to enjoy marital bliss for years.